September 12

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265 seconds over 56K

Many of the pics above are courtesy of KittyKisses. Thanks sweetness.

Osama Goes To Hell	A message for UBL	Afghanistan Air Show
Challenge accepted	Taliban Bingo	11 schmeleven
one peaceful day	open letter to UBL

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September 12, 2001

Dear Osama Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, Sadam Hussein, et. al.,

    We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge to an old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule that there are no rules, we look forward to playing by them for the first time.
    Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to invite you to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured that we will toast you -- LITERALLY.
    While we will admit that you are off to an impressive lead, it is however now our turn at the plate. Since we will be playing on your court now, we will be bringing our own cheerleader and pep squads. Batter up.

Sincerely,

The 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America

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New York, 2032

   A man is walking down the streets of Manhattan with his son. All of a sudden they stop in front of a park, and the man comments to his young son.......
    "Just think, not too long ago the World Trade Center used to stand here......."
    So the son looks at his father with an intrigued look on his face and asks,
    "Dad, what was the World Trade Center?"
    The father looks down at his young son and sadly states: "They were two very tall buildings with lots of offices, but 31 years ago a bunch of terrorists from the Middle East crashed a plane into each one and they collapsed, killing over five thousand people."
    The young boy looks up at his father and asks "Dad, what are terrorists?"
     The father answers "They were people who, when they disagreed with someone, they just tried to kill them."
    The child, perplexed, states, "Well that's stupid."
    The father smiles and nods, as the small boy asks.......
    Dad, what was the Middle East?"

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A MESSAGE FOR OSAMA BIN LADEN

                       Osama Bin Laden your time is short
                    We'd rather you die, than come to court
                  Why are you hiding if it was in God's name?
               Your just a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame.

                 I have a question about your theory and laws;
                    "How come you never die for the cause?"
               Is it because your a coward who counts on others?
                Well, here in America, we stand by our brothers.

                    As is usual, you failed in your mission;
              If you expected pure chaos, you can keep on wishin'
               Americans are now focused and stronger than ever,
                    Your death has become our next endeavor.

               What you tried to kill, doesn't live in our walls;
                    It's not in buildings or shopping malls.
                  If all of our structures came crashing down.
                    It would still be there, safe and sound.

                 Because pride and courage can't be destroyed,
                  Even if the towers leave a deep, deep void.
                     We'll band together and fill the holes
                   We'll bury our dead and bless their souls.

                     But then our energy will focus on you;
             And you'll feel the wrath of the Red, White and Blue.
                 So slither and hide like a snake in the grass.
                  Because America's coming to kick your ass!!!

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Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?

A: B- 52....F- 16...B- 1....A-10.....M-16......

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flinstone?

A: Both can look out their windows and see Rubble.



Q: Why does the Afghanistan Navy have glass bottom boats?

A: So they can see their Air Force.



Q: What do Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?

A: They both wanted to know where those Tomahawks were coming from!



Q: What's the difference between the Taliban, Osam Bin Laden, Saddam Hussien and a bucket of shit?

A: The bucket

Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death.

Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds the answer.

"You will die on an American holiday."

"Which one?" Olama bin Laden asks nervously.

"It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday."

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An Open Letter To Terrorists
    Well, you hit the World Trade Center, but you missed America. You hit the Pentagon, but you missed America. You used helpless American bodies to take out other American bodies, but like a poor marksman, you STILL missed America. Why? Because of something you guys will never understand.
    America isn't about a building or two, not about financial centers, not about military centers, America isn't about a place, America isn't even about a bunch of bodies.
America is about an IDEA.
    An idea, that you can go someplace where you can earn as much as you can figure out how to. Live for the most part like you envisioned living, and pursue happiness. (No guarantees that you'll reach it, but you can sure try!)
    Go ahead and whine your terrorist whine, and chant your terrorist litanies.
    We live in a country where we don't have to see your point......... But you're free to have one. We don't have to listen to your speech. But you're free to say one. Don't know where you got the strange idea that everyone has to agree with you.......... We don't agree with each other in this country. We're a collection of guys that don't agree, called States.
    We united our individual states to protect ourselves from tyranny in the world. Another idea, we made up on the spot. You CAN make it up as you go,...........when it's your country, when you're free enough.
    Yeah, we can be fat, sloppy, easy-going goofs. That's an unfortunate image to project to the world, but it comes from feeling free and easy about the world you live in. It's unfortunate too,........because people start to forget that when you attack America.......we tend to fight like a cornered badger.
    The first we knew of the War of 1812 was when England burned Washington D.C. to the ground. Didn't turn out like England thought it was going to, and it's not going to turn out like you think, either. Sorry, but you're not the first bully on our shores, just the most recent.

No Marquis of Queensbury rules for Americans, either. We were the FIRST and so far, the only country in the world to use nuclear weapons in anger. Horrific idea, nowadays? News for you bucko, it was back then too, but we used it anyway. Only had two of them in the whole world and we used them both. During the Manhattan Project, right up until they threw the switch,..........the physicists were still arguing over whether the Uranium alone would fission, or whether it would start a fission chain reaction that would eat everything. But they threw the switch anyway, because we had a war against evil to win.

    Does this tell you something about American Resolve? ........ So who just declared War on us? It would be nice to point to some real estate, like the good old days. Unfortunately, we're probably at war with random camps, in far-flung places - who think they're safe. Just like the Barbary Pirates did, if I recall correctly. Better start sleeping with one eye open.

    There's a spirit that tends to take over people who come to this country, looking for opportunity, looking for liberty, and looking for freedom. Even if they misuse it. The latest terrorists were captured on cameras at bars, in restaurants and other ordinary places doing ordinary things.
    The Marielistas that Castro emptied out of his prisons were overjoyed to find out how much freedom there was........ First thing they did when they hit our shores, was run out and buy guns. The ones that didn't end up dead, ended up in prisons. It was a big pain in the ass then, but you're only the newest pain in the ass , not the first. ......
    You guys seem to be incapable of understanding that we don't live in America,.......... America lives in US!....... American Spirit is what it's called. And killing a few thousand of us, or a few million of us, won't change it..............Most of the time, it's a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of Spirit. Until we're crossed in a cowardly manner, then it becomes an entirely different kind of Spirit.......Wait until you see what we do with that Spirit......... this time!
Sleep tight, if you can......... WE'RE COMING!

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    Citizens of Afghanistan are reportedly looking forward with great anticipation to reports of an international air show to be held in the skies over their nation.
     An unnamed official informed us that "Now the rest of the world will look upon our beloved city with great honor just as they do Farnborough, England and Paris, France", referring to the sites of two other famous international air shows.
     The exact date and time of the upcoming Kabul International Air Show has not yet been announced. It is believed that event organizers feel that such an announcement would detract from the fun of the celebration by, "spoiling the surprise".
     Unlike most air shows the Kabul Air Show will feature almost no static ground displays but will have an unusually high number of aerial demonstrations and fly-bys. "We are most pleased by this feature of our air show. Instead of a lot of different kinds of airplanes just sitting around on the tarmac, the aircraft attending our show will actually be up in the air demonstrating what they do best!" we were told.
     Participation will probably be heaviest by aircraft of the United States Air Force and Marine Corps. Including appearances by F-15's, F-16's, A-10's, B-52's and Apache helicopters. It is rumored that opening ceremonies will feature a tomahawk-cruise fireworks display. A few B-2's, and F-117A's may also help out in some unseen capacity.
     Several other counties have expressed an interest in sending representatives. These include all nineteen nations in the NATO alliance as well as Australia. The excitement generated for this gala event has even prompted the Israeli Air Force to apply for participation.
     Of course, no one is more excited than the Afghan people themselves. Great numbers of them are in the streets of Kabul looking constantly heavenward in gratitude for the historic event, which will soon take place in their skies. It has been observed that some are so concerned about missing
the show that even as they bow to the East they keep snatching worried glances towards the West. Thousands, in fact, have been seen leaving the city and fleeing to the mountains carrying food and blankets - obviously anxious to get a good vantage point for the air show, and to make a picnic of it. It has been announced that the United States Air Force has sent refreshments and snacks ahead.

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The date of the attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11
After September 11th there are 111 days left to the end of the year.
119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 = 11>
Twin Towers - standing side by side, looks like the number 11
The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11
State of New York - The 11th State added to the Union
New York City - 11 Letters
Afghanistan - 11 Letters
The Pentagon - 11 Letters
Ramzi Yousef - 11 Letters (convicted of orchestrating the attack on the WTC in 1993)
Flight 11 - 92 on board - 9 + 2 = 11
Flight 77 - 65 on board - 6 + 5 = 11
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> Oh my God! How worried should I be? There are 11 letters in my TFC name "Zaltocleotl!" I'm going into hiding NOW. See you in a few weeks.
Wait a sec ... just realized "YOU CAN'T HIDE" also has 11 letters!
What am I gonna do? Help me!!! The terrorists are after me! ME! I can't believe it!
Oh crap, there must be someplace on the planet Earth I could hide!
But no .. "PLANET EARTH" has 11 letters, too!
Maybe Nostradamus can help me. But dare I trust him? There are 11 letters in "NOSTRADAMUS."
I know, the Red Cross can help. No they can't... 11 letters in "THE RED CROSS," can't trust them.
I would rely on self defense, but "SELF DEFENSE" has 11 letters in it too!
Can someone help? Anyone? If so, send me email. No, don't..."SEND ME EMAIL" has 11 letters....
Will this never end? I'm going insane! "GOING INSANE???" Eleven
letters!!
Nooooooooooo!!!!!! I guess I'll die alone, even though "I'LL DIE ALONE" has 11 letters.....
Oh my God, I just realized that America is doomed! Our Independence Day is July 4th... 7/4 ... 7+4=11!
PS. "IT'S BULLSHIT" has 11 letters also.

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Osama Goes To Hell

One day in the future, Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room; in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed -- over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," bin Laden said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room; in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Osama bin Laden.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Osama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Osama bin Laden looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."