Smokr's
Lounge
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Over 700 terms for masturbation1) Alphabetical listing of every euphemism other
than the ones listed with the following categories....
ALPHABETICALAbusing the wicked stickAccosting the Oscar Meyer Addressing Mr. Palmer Appropriate the means Arm aerobics Backstroke Roulette Battling the purple-helmeted love warrior Bashing the bishop Beat Off Beat Pete Beat the Bologna Beat the Bishop Beat the Butter Beat the Dummy Beat the Meat Beat the Stick Beat your meat like it owes you money Bequeath your genes Beta testing your hardware Bleed the lizard Bleed the weed Bloating the vein Bludgeon the Beefsteak Bob the hog Bombing the German helmut Bop the Baloney Bop the cyclops Box the Jesuit Boxin' the Bozak Boxin the Ballsack Break one off Breaking one off at the wrist Bringing MrWeasel back from the dead Buck the bone Buff the banana Buff the mushroom Buff the wood Burp the baldman Burp the worm Bust a nut Butter the corn Charge the rod Charm the serpent/snake Check the dipstick Check the oil Chipping wood Choke the Chicken Choke Charlie 'till he chunders Choke the Sheriff and Wait for the Posse to Come Chokin' Kojack Chong your schlong Churning butter Clean the pipes Clean The Rifle Climb the bean stalk Closing the deal Clubbing the baby seal Cocking some soup Come into your own Conking the Cardinal Converse with Harry Palm Corralling the tadpoles Crab tease Crack off a batch Cracking off Cracking the bat Crank the Shank Crown the King Cuff the Carrot Culture the American Blood Sausage Date Palmala Handerson Date Rosy palm and her 5 sisters Diddle Diddling the dinky Dilly with the willy Dinging the dong Discipline the soldier Discussing Uganda Disobey the Pope Doin' extra credit Doin' the Hand Jive Donkey Spank Downloading from your own website Dra en handtralla Drain Charle's Dickens Drain the dragon Drain the monster Driving the skin bus Drizzle the squid Dunking the dolphin Dusting the old trophy Educating Peter Empty the cannon Encapsulate the probe Erupting Vesuvius Evacuating Tatooine Evicting the testicular squatters Excercise your rights Express yourself Extracting some crack spackle Facha la manuela Feed the ducks Feed the fist Fencing with the pork sword Fidget with your digit Fight the Champ Firing the porridge cannon Firing off a round Firing the flesh musket Fire the hand cannon Fire the Surgeon General Fire the wobbly warhead Fist Fuck Fist kebabing Fist of fury Fist the mister Fist The Monster Five Against One Five knuckle shuffle Fixing the Hubble Flail the whale Flog the bishop Flog the Dog Flog the Hog Flog The Dong Flute Solo Fondle the Fig Gallop the Antelope Give It a Tug Grease the Pipe Hacerse la manuela Hacerse la paja Hack the Hog Hack off Hammering one out Hand crank Hand Job Hand to gland combat Hand Work Have It Off Having a whack attack Having a staff meeting Helping the python shed its skin Herkin the Gherkin Hit on Rosy Palm Hitchhike under the big top Hittin' the wood Hump the horn Hump the hose Huskin' corn Hold the bold Hold the mayo Hotdog-a-rama Ignite the Lightsaber Infiltrate your crabs Innoculate the newborn Introducing the Master of Ceremonies Jackhammer Jack Off Jack the corn Jack the sack Jack the joystick Jack the Jizz Jack the monkey Jack yourself Jack'n the beanstalk Jam the joystick Jalarle el pescuezo al ganso Jazz Yourself Jerk Off Jerk the Gherkin Jerk the Turk Jerk the rope Jerkin' the jerky Jerkin' the noodle Jerkin' the wheel Jiggling the dice Jostling the Elder Juice the fruit Jumping to Delight Speed Kill the Pope Knock on wood Knuckle shuffle on the old piss pump Lap-based web browsingrowsing Lash the length Launching the Tadpoles Lehavi Bayad Lightening the load Lighting the candle Lightsaber practice with Captain Solo Little pinky hit the slinky Loading the cannon Locking the roommate out so you can call the parents Lope the mule Lope the pork sword Lube the cord Make one-eye cry Make the bald man puke Make the slug jump Makin' silly with the willy Making a sticky situation Making a six-fist Making duck butter Making love to Mrs. Palm and her five sisters Making love to Mr. Palm and his five brothers Making the Kessel Run Making oyster soup Making pancakes on your stomach Making wall-paper paste Manipulate the mango Manistrupation Mannin' the Cannon Manual override Manually assisted wet dream Manually increasing the surface temperature of the ship's primary cannon by repeated linear manipulation Manually targeting the Rebel Base Massage the fireman's neck Massage the one-eyed monk Maximize your potency Meet MrsPalmer and her five daughters Meet your right-hand man Messin' with Moby Milk the lizard Milk the maggot Milk the member Milky handshake Mix up a batch Mount a corporal and a four Murder the Bishop Mustard on the burger Nerk The Throbber Oil the glove Onan's olympics Onanera One-eye target practice One-hand jam One-man show One off the wrist Oscillating the Oscar Meyer Pack Your Palm Packaging the ol' sausage Paddle the Pickle Paint the Pickle Paint the CeilingPassing math Pat the Robertson Peeling the chile Performing the Jedi Hand Trick Perm the poodle Petting the silk worm Petting the snake Petting the Wookie Phone the czar Pitch a knuckle ball Play with the Willy Wanker Playing closet Frisbee Playing Nintendo Playing the fiddle Playing the flesh trombone Playing the hairy banjo Playing the man-flute Playing the pink oboe Playing the skin flute Playing a solo on the meat whistle Playing soapy Peter Playing with the pink Power Ranger Playing with the 6th finger Playing with the big Alien Playing Yahtzee Please the pisser Pluckin' the chicken Plunk the twanger Pocket pinball Pocket pool Pocket the rocket Polish the bayonet Polish the bishop Polish the knob Polish the log Polish the Oscar Polish the pole Polish the rocket Polish the shooter Polish the sword Polish the Viper Polish Vader's Helmet Polish the antler Polish the helmet Polish the horn Polishing Charlie Brown Polishing Percy Popping the zit Portuguese Pump Pound off Pound the bobo Pound the flounder Pound the pelican Pound the pudding Pound the flounder Pound the pud Pow-wow with the one-eyed Redskin Practice the Heimlich Maneuver Practice the Kung-Fu Grip Prime the womb cannon Priming the Purple-headed yogurt slinger Puff the one-eyed dragon Pull off Pull one out Pull the ducks neck Pull the root Pull the pole Pull the pope Pull the pud Pull the pudding Pull your prick Pull Your Taffy Pulling a solo session Pulling on Peter Pulling the goalie Pummel the love truncheon Pump the monkey Pop the purple pimple Pump the python Pumping gas at the self-service island Punching the clown Punchin' the Munchkin' Punching the puppet Punish the Harlequin Punish the penguin Punish the pope Putting the seminal luge team through their paces Raise the flag Ram the ham Ravage the innocent Read 'em his rights Reenact Old Faithful Releasing the hostages Releasing the Special Edition Ride the great white knuckler Ringing for the elevator Rolfing the piglet Rob the knob Rockin' the rhubarb Rollig the dice Rolling your quarters Rope the goat Rope the pony Rough up the suspect Rub off Rub one out Rub the tub Rub your head Ruminating and pondering Run a batch Runka Running Peter through two-a-days Running the whack-a-thon Sailors' joy Salute the sailor Sanding the banister Schplitzing your schmeckel Scratching Yoda behind the ears Sewing the seed Shaggin' Solo Shake the snake Shake the weasel Shakin' hands with little Elvis Shakin' hands with MrHappy Shakin' hands with MrWinkie Shakin' hands with the wookie Shakin' hands with the unemployed Shakin' hands with Yule Brenner Shakin' your fist at the ex-girlfriend Shakin' your hands at the sky Shakin' your own maracas Shifting gears Shine the barrel Shine the dolphin Shine the hose Shine the pole Shoe shine Shoot your squirt Shooting craps Shooting the bedroom gun Shooting the shark Shooting Womprats in Beggar's Canyon Shooting putty at the moon Shuffle the deck Sifting through the nest to find mama bird Single dingles Siphoning off the tank Slakin' the bacon Slammin' the salmon Slam the ham Slam the hammer Slam the salomi Slam the spam Slap your head Slappin' Pappy Slappin' the Cap'n Slapping the clown Slapping the salomi Slaying the one-eyed monster Slimmer Sling some spooge Sling the jelly Slog the log Smacking the sausage Snap the carrot Snap the Monkey Snap the radish Snap the Rubber Snap the Whip Snuggle the nozzle Soldier's Joy Soldier's toy Solo spit Soviet U-boat Commander Jackoff Ruboneoff Spackling the ceiling Spam Wham Spank the carrot Spank the frank Spank the hangdown Spank the monkey Spank the Salami Spank the tank Spank the wank Spank the little boy Spela fickpingis Spela skinntrombon Spinning the record Spit one off Spit the seeds Spit-shining the boots Splat the cat Sprayin' the spectators Spreading some super life Sprinklin' the lawn Squeeze the cheese Squeeze the lemon Squeezing the cream filling from the twinkie Squeezing the Creamy Filter Squeezing the squid Squirt one off Squirtin' Burton Straddle your paddle Strangle MrJesus Strangle the dangle Stroking it Stroking Steven Stroking the Scooby Stroking the schlong Stroke off Stroke the dog Stroke the goat Stroke the ego Stroke the poker Stroke the purple-nosed gusset ferret Stroke the trumpet Stroke the wookie Suffocate the organ Surfing on the Milky Highway Taffy pulling contest Taffy tugger Tajja Take a beating Take a load off your mind Take a ride on the mean spanking machine Take little Johnny dancing down at Knuckle Junction Take matters into your own hands Take ol' stiff neck to the movies Take yourself in hand Taking a client up to the Yajima Factory Taking hand Tame the bald headed mouse Tame the monster Tame the shrew Teach the dog to spit Teach yourself a lesson Teach Yule Brenner some respect Tease the weenie Tenderize the meat Test-fire the Death Star Test the flashlight The Five-Knuckle Shuffle The tube of cream Thump the Pump Thropping your marrow Throw the ball around Throw out Thump the pump Tickling the Elmo Tickle the pickle Tinkering with the R2 unit Trim the antlers Trim the horn Tocar con mi pinga Torment the Trouser Trout Torquing the wrench Toss off Toss off a batch of orphans Tossing the ham javelin Train the Love Porpoise Trying to pull something off Tug o' war with ol' Cyclops Tugging the tapioca tube Tuning the fork Turn the knob Tussle with the love-pump Tweak the twiddle Twirl the squirrel Twist the turnip Twistin' the Piston Umroj Unleash the fury Unloading passengers from the five-car train Unsheathing the meatsaber Unsheathing the pork sword Vaccinate the baby Varnish the flagpole Virtual sex Visiting Rosy Palm and her five daughters Vomit the viper Wack the weasel Walk the dog Walking old one-eye Wank Wank the crank Wanking one-eyed Willy Wanking the one-eyed wonder worm Wanking the scube Warming up the altar boys' dinner Washing the goose's neck Washing the hog Wasting babies Wave the wand Wax the bean Wax the board Wax the Buick Wax the candle stick Wax the carrot Wax the dolphin Wax the musket Wax the womb broom Wax the weasel Wax the surfboard Whack off Whack on your back Whack little Mac Whack the pud Whack the yak Whack the Magic Johnson Whack you willy Whip off Whip the dummy Whip the wire Whip the dripper Whippin' the mule Whippin' the pony Whippin' the weasel Whipping Dripping Whipping the Skippy Whipping the Willy Whizzin' Jizzum Whitewater wristing Whittling Dixie Willy spitting Willy wanking Winding the Wurlitzer Wonk the conker Work off Workin' the Jerkin Wrestle the eel Wrestle the bald-headed champion Wrestle with Cyclops Wring out the rope Wringin' the towel Wringin' out the tube steak Yang the wang Yank off Yank the crank Yank the doodle Yank the plank Yank the shank Yank the yam Yank the Yoda Yank your strap Yank your wank Yankee your Wankee Yerk off Yoinkin' off Yuckin' your choad Zoot Flute Riot
Female euphamisms
Star Wars versions.... Shooting Womprats in Beggar's CanyonGrooming the Wookie Making the Kessel Run Polishing Vader's Helmet Evacuating Tatooine Massaging the Meatsaber Releasing the Special Edition Jumping to Delight Speed Communicating with Red Leader One Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo Tinkering With the R2 Unit Manually Targeting the Rebel Base Performing the Jedi Hand Trick Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears and the Number 1 "Star Wars" Euphemism for Masturbation... Test Firing the Death Star
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