My World Plan

    It is my destiny, nay, obligation, to take control of this chaotic, uncivilized world we live in.  To that end, I hereby place myself above all others.  I hereby dissolve the current world order, its governments, leaderships and nations.  From this time on, all lands shall be known as one, under my strict and indomitable rule. 

    Firstly, all conflicts between nations and nationalities, races, factions, creeds and religions shall cease.  Failure to halt all hostilities will result in world wide retaliation, not to exclude  chemical and/or microtechnical retaliation to the immediate area.  All members of such a group will be subject to immediate 'incarceration' until my personal intervention.

    There shall be one currency from now on, the Toke.  Therefore, the minimum wage shall be set at 6 Tokes per hour.  To that end, the standard minimum wage payment form shall be one half of one eighth of an ounce (1/16 oz.) of marijuana per hour.  This shall be the minimum wage, and can and should be increased for more dangerous or labor intensive employment ONLY!.  Executive Officers, CEOs, Corporation Chairmen, and other so-called "white collar" jobs shall be exempt from any wage over the set minimum.  The exception to this shall be if the said employee actually partakes of his salary or wages during working hours.  The standard work day shall not exceed four (4) hours, and shall not continue for more than three (3) consecutive days, or more than twelve (12) hours per week, unless a premium overtime wage is paid.  This overtime wage shall not be less than one ounce per hour, or two Tokes per minute.

    As the new currency will require vast cultivation of Marijuana, it is expected that all citizens of the new world shall grow it in any available space they wish.  For currency requirements, only the bud of the plant will be considered legal tender, and all other parts of the plant are freely distributable.  

    As well,  it shall be a punishable offense for any person to fail to have marijuana in their possession.  Each person shall be tested during the interview process for a prospective job for the presence of THC compounds just as is standard practice currently.  If any person fails to show the presence of THC compounds, they shall be subject to the SPPRR.

    Any and all laws currently on each countries books shall continue in effect in that region, (unless said law involves marijuana in any way) until my personal intervention,  at which time that country or region is inducted into the new world. 

   It shall be considered an extreme offense for any person to treat another with less than total civility.  Should any person treat another in any way that can be construed as indecent or uncivilized, the punishment shall be the standard SPPRR.

    Each week, each person shall watch intently no less than one episode each of Monty Pythons Flying Circus, Benny Hill, Red Dwarf, News Radio, 3rd Rock From the Sun, Farscape, Lexx, Dr. Who,  Gilligan's Island, My Favorite Marian, The Munsters, The Addams Family, The Man Show, South Park, That 70's Show, Whos Line Is It Anyway, and The Drew Carey Show.  Failure to do so will result in a SPPRR  

   TAXES

Every year, taxes shall be paid to the government, (i.e. ME) of one one-hundreth (1/100) of their personal income of Tokes, thereby establishing a %1 income tax flat rate.  Failure to do so shall result in a SPPRR. For this, the Smokr's Internal Revenue Service (SIRS) shall be formed. It will consist of those whom I assign to it and they shall be responsible for collecting, distributing and controlling the world wide tax. There will also be a %1 sales tax on all sales and payments for services. Failure to report or pay your income or sales taxes will result in a SPPRR. 

CORRECTIONS and CRIMINAL  REHABILITATION

SPPRR (Standard Personal Property Rights Recindment) 

This shall be the standard offense for many crimes and offenses.  The offender shall rescind all rights to their personal property, including their home(s), auto(s), clothing, books, games, computer(s), television(s), radio(s), cds, albums, electronic equipment of any kind, tools and toys.  This punishment shall be applied for lesser offenses as local laws apply it. 

SPFRR (Standard Personal Freedom Rights Recindment)  

This shall be the standard federal level incarceration methodology.No cushy jails with cable and high speed internet access. No pools, no saunas, no work release. Time served in a prison, hot swapping bunks while out working 8 hours, in common areas 8 hours, in cell 8 hours. Marines/SpecialOps/Marines type discipline and regimens. 8 hours a day will be spent transiting to and performing heavy labor on civil projects and improvement.  Beatings allowed by guards when prisoners disobey any normal command. Guards in body armor, armed with tasers/painsticks and an auto shotty. All guards would be military, ex military or similarly trained in hand-to-hand combat who live in a housing complex surrounding the prison, with an interlaced and well mapped and survieled woodlands. Let the inmates try to escape through a neighborhood of well armed and trained guards with heavy assault weapons and tactical equipment who all love to hunt. At the end of an inmates term, he will be released to family or other adult willing to accept responsibility for the inmates actions while in their custody. At the time of their release, they will be provided with a temporary home in another state or region and gainful employment allowing them time to find a permanent position. The exact term of the sentence shall be dependent upon mitigating factors, circumstances, level of violence or public risk and will be decided by the presiding judge and the jury.

HOMELESS, TRANSIENTS and WELFARE

Each person will be the responsiblity of their families should they not be able to support themselves for any reason including physical disability, mental disability, lack of employment possibilities, lack of housing or just the inability to support themselves. Children will be the responsibility of their parents their whole lives should they need support. The government will only make reasonable payment to a person who has lost their job if they have applied and been contributing to the standard Social Security Fund.

The SOCIAL SECURITY FUND

 shall be a government fund used only as a depository of residents payments toward their retirement or possible unemployment. As any person assumes a first or new job, they will at that time choose how much of their income shall be paid to their own fund. This fund shall be the property of the resident and they are allowed to withdraw or deposit at will. Should this fund be emptied, no further financial assistance shall be offered by the government. A percentage rate equal to the current lending rate shall be added to these funds monthly. The government shall have the right to use the funds for public works and improvements and shall always make the residents full funds available for withdrawal at any time, provided a SPPRR or SPFRR are not in effect for that individual.

WEAPONS and FIREARMS

Not everyone shall own one, but anyone who can pass weapons handling skills tests, graduate high school and be able to care for themselves, should be allowed to own one provided a SPPRR or SPFRR are not in effect for that individual.
Children, violent offenders, career criminals, people with any type of mood or temper disorder, self control problems or sanity issues shall be prohibited owning a weapon.
The only allowances to the above limitations will be that children still in school are allowed a .22 single-shot or similar shooting rifle provided they pass all the other competency and ability tests and have at least graduated sixth grade.
As for SMGs and fully auto rifles, only peace officers, government officers, military and high level security forces would be issued a tracked rifle for their term of service to be returned for inspection at random intervals, and at the end of their term of service the weapon is returned to the employer permanently. Loss or damages to the weapon will be remitted by the employee. Loss of the weapon will result in a SPPRR.
Buying and selling these types of weapons are legal and a major pain in the ass. Pages of paperwork, online documentation and waiting. Finally, possession of ANY firearm without legal right, appropriate paperwork and licensing will result in a SPFRR. 

Immigration

America's borders shall be sealed using the members of the military in training.
To enter America via land, air or sea, each person shall produce a verifiable foreign passport, a U.S. issued passport and DNA proof of Identity to be filed with INS.
Each person applying for residency shall have one year to take and pass a standard basic English usage oral exam demonstrating ability to speak and understand before entering the country. 
In the first year of residency, the resident alien must also obtain a drivers license, employment and a residence.
After one years residency, and the completion of the above requirements, a second more comprehensive exam must be completed or that person shall be required to return to their originating country.
Persons who do not take the second exam, evade the exam or cannot be located on the required day will be subject to arrest and deportation, their property and assets confiscated and any documents, permits and licenses revoked.
Each person who is granted residency and has remained inside the U.S. for one full year, not been arrested for violent or non-misdemeanor crimes and has remained employed shall be eligible for citizenship.
Any resident alien wishing citizenship must have passed both previous English usage and comprehension tests, lived in the U.S. for over two years and met all prior requirements, can begin the process of becoming a citizen.
To become a citizen, once the above is complied with, an alien must pass the G.E.D. exams. Providing this applicant has complied with all the above requirements, the resident alien will be granted citizenship. 
Any dependants born in the U.S. since the applicants arrival shall also be given citizenship. Dependants born before arrival in the U.S. must comply with all above requirements at appropriate ages to become a citizen.
Any resident alien proven to be working against the American people and posing an threat to civilian safety shall be deported for incarceration in their home country. Any naturalized citizen found guilty of the same shall be incarcerated in a high security facility for the entire time of their sentence.
Any illegal alien found guilty of the same shall be incarcerated in a high security facility for the rest of their life without parole.

EDUCATION

As excessive use of profanity is counterproductive, it shall be discouraged in and on school grounds at all times. 

Words considered profane shall include all current words the usage of which is strictly expletive in nature at the time of the student usage.

Profanity - Student usage of profanities will be discouraged. First usage of a profane word requires the teacher to inform the entire class again the reason profanities shall not be tolerated. Second occurrence shall require the student to write the word one hundred times, ending with an explanation why they have to have their parents/guardians sign the paper for return to the teacher the next school day. If this is not completed, the teacher will call the student's parents/guardians. The third time the student must write a letter identical to the previous, repeating the word or phrase one thousand times and the teacher will call the student's parents/guardians.

All schools should have a rules, but suspensions should be a last effort to get the parents forcibly involved when all else fails. It shouldn't be the first punishment, and certainly not when context and meaning are variables.

Teacher Ineffectiveness.
   When a teachers effectiveness is in question, such as NO child should be suspended for saying 'hell' the first time a teacher actually hears it used profanely, let alone if there are context or meaning questions, they shall be suspended without pay for one day, cumulative, for each example.

    The following persons shall be slated for immediate incarceration for their crimes against humanity upon the inception of my world order........

    Saddam Hussein, Osama BinLaden, any and all members of the Al-Qaeda network as well as any and all who aided, abetted, helped, hid or befriended them. Dick Clark. The entire cast and crew of Friends, their advertisers, the television executives who created it, worked on it and decided to air it.  The French. Everyone who made it onto the Idiots page.

As this is a work in progress, I expect your input.  Please click the appropriate link below to vote.

I don't understand it.

I understand it, but I don't agree with it.